Sorry Not Sorry

Sorry Not Sorry

I know, I know. I’m posting an advertisement for Pantene. And probably, yes, they realize that feminism is a “hot topic” right now and touching on the idea will sell more shampoo. But you know what, I don’t care. Because they are right.

My partner is the first person who really made me aware of how frequently I apologize when I’ve done nothing wrong. He stops me and asks, “Why are you sorry?” I have no real response; I typically blurt out “Sorry! It’s a habit.” OOPS. There, I did it again. It’s really hard to stop.

Women apologize. A lot. We apologize when things aren’t our fault, and we apologize when we feel we’re taking up too much space. And, as previously discuss, we apologize in our Isms class all the time! But I don’t believe this is something we came up with on our own. Women don’t spontaneously feel the need to take responsibility for everything that happens around us. Rather, this is a symptom of a cultural problem. Our culture is sexist.

Some people argue that women are biologically predisposed to be more nurturing than men.  They say we are somehow more aware of how our actions make others feel, which leads us to be more apologetic. And yes, I do think that’s part of the reason. But more that that, society has told us that we are wrong if we are not more nurturing. We are wrong if we value our own feelings “too much” (I.e. more than others’ feelings) and we must make others aware that we know we are wrong. And that is why we apologize. To let other people know that we were wrong.

But I’m done. Or at least, I’m trying to be. I’m not sorry. Not anymore. #sorrynotsorry

~DoriMelinda

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